Should You Bring Up Your Personal Needs in a Job Interview?

You get an interview at your dream company. You want to approach the situation confidently, but in the back of your mind, you have a nagging feeling…”Will they hire me if they knew about my extenuating circumstances? What if I accept the job, and then when I tell my boss about them, she fires me on the spot?”

Extenuating circumstances are different for each person. They can be a one time thing, like the two-week long family vacation your mom planned months ago, or something with a long-term impact, like the fact that you observe the Sabbath, are at the beginning of a pregnancy, or have a medical condition that requires you to take more time off than the average employee. What these issues always have in common is that they can cause a great level of stress -- you want the job, but you have this other major life thing that you can’t sacrifice either, and it’s easy to worry yourself into a tizzy trying to figure out when to be forthcoming.

We recommend waiting to share extenuating circumstances until you have an offer on the table, unless the topic comes up naturally. Sure, the potential employer might be blindsided for a second, but they legally can’t rescind an offer for things like religious practices or disabilities if there are reasonable accommodations that can be made that allow you to do the job. But if you mention your needs in an interview, you run the risk of losing the offer, and it's nearly impossible to prove discrimination occurred. So withhold this information until you are offered the position, but carefully prepare the statement you make to your future boss to start things off on the right foot.

For something like a vacation, it’s as simple as saying, “Thanks for the offer! I’m curious about the company’s vacation policy -- my family is going to Europe for two weeks next month to celebrate my mom’s birthday, and it’s been planned for over a year. Would it be possible to take that time off?” Sometimes, the answer will be “Sure thing!” In other instances, you might have to cancel or take the time off unpaid. In that case, it’s your call if the trip or the money is more important.

For something recurring, you have two options. You can mention it at the offer stage, if you want to include certain protections as part of your negotiation. Try something like, “Thanks for the offer. I want to let you know that I observe many religious holidays that require me to be out of the office for several extra days of the year. I can send you a schedule of the exact dates, and I’m prepared to make up the hours by staying later during the other days of those weeks. If you’d like to talk to some past employers about how this has worked, I’m happy to provide references.” If you need to verify certain elements of the company's health insurance policy to make sure your needs will be covered, you can ask for that at the offer stage as well -- try, "Thanks for the offer. Will you be able to send over a full benefits package for my review? I'd like to make sure the insurance will cover a specific medical condition before I'm able to formally accept." You can also wait to disclose your need for an accommodation to HR once you start and get it documented according to company policy (assuming it's covered by the ADA or other protections against discrimination). This can be a little trickier at smaller companies without HR, and super-small companies may not be legally required to provide accommodations, so take that into consideration when deciding whether you want to raise it at the offer stage or wait until you're settled in.

It’s also possible, if you got the job through a referral, that your potential employer already knows this information and is comfortable with it. Sometimes they’ll even bring it up in the interview. But more often, it’s brand new information and may throw them for a loop. Monitor their reactions -- if they express understanding with their surprise, great! But if they start howling through the phone about how you’re incredibly shady and can’t believe you trapped them like this, walk away. At that point, you’re signing yourself up for constant abuse, and that’s never worth it. Aren’t you glad you know? Your sucky medical condition may have saved you from working for an insufferable maniac!